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How to Project Sexual Confidence in Clubs and Bars

March 29th, 2011

men and women having fun in a club

Ahh.. the club. There’s no better place to drink, have fun and… meet women!

I lost track of how many times I’ve been to one but I do know for sure what were some of my best outfits that turned most women’s heads when I walked in.

And NO, I’m no Leo DiCaprio.

There are three ways you can choose to go out in a club:

A. Geek style

Not as a stylish geek, as a real geek. Not recommended. The last place you want to be dressed generic is in a club.

So stay away from jeans, white t-shirt and sneakers. They’re bad for you. :)

B. As an average clubber

This is better but you probably won’t get noticed that much if you don’t have the physique to help you.

The average clubber is pretty cool. He dresses stylish and looks like a fun, chatty person.

He usually wears a polo shirt, a muscle shirt or a white dress shirt with jeans. The outfit is completed by some stylish black leather loafers.

C. As a sharp, stylish guy

Now if you’re a serious style student of mine, you can’t go like an average clubber.

Clubbing is all about FUN and SEX (in whichever order you prefer). So you’re allowed to stand out through your clothes.

I’m going to give you a few quick examples of what to wear to attract attention. These are KILLER tips because most guys don’t go out like this.

They’re not style conscious to figure out these outfits. But you are.

Club basics: shoes

When going to a club, leave your lace-ups at home. Go for loafers, boat shoes or even some stylish sneakers. You’ll look more relaxed (and feel more relaxed) than if you’d be wearing office shoes.

Before choosing which shoes to wear, make sure you match them with the rest of your outfit.

For instance, a pair of sneakers won’t go well with a pair of chinos and a blazer. That outfit would be a little too formal for them.

Sneakers go great with jeans, polo shirts, rugby shirts and accessories such as casual rings, pendants and mens bracelets.

If you’re the leather shoes type of guy, there are quite a few shoe options out there you can try. If I were to give you the fanciest of all (while still remaining in the casual sphere), I’d suggest you try a pair of monk strap shoes:

black monk strap shoes

Club basics: pants

There are a few types of pants you should never EVER wear to a club:

- suit pants
- shorts
- bermudas
- camouflage pants

Although, if you’re going to a more hippie style club and camouflage pants are your thing, it’s okay to wear them.

In general, you want to stay away from anything that makes you look like you came to the club straight from work. Otherwise, instead of projecting sexual confidence, you’ll let everyone assume you work a little too much.

This means suit pants and dress pants should be avoided.

The best way to hit women at that sexual level (tested by myself on a few occasions) is to wear colored chino pants.

Take a look at what GQ recommends:

gq chino pants

photo: GQ.com

men style ebook

Wear a pair of these and the rest of the outfit doesn’t need to stand out that much. In fact it shouldn’t, to let the chinos be the center of attention.

But these guys in the picture above didn’t stop at the colored chino pants.

The guy in the blue chinos is wearing a checked shirt which matches his suede lace-ups.

The second guy is wearing a light-blue shirt(which works well with the green chinos), a navy-blue slim tie and brown shoes. This is my favorite outfit by the way.

The other two guys are stylish as hell too. But it’s up to you how much you want to stand out. You can go for colored chino pants + a black outfit or you can do some cool color combinations.

For maximum sexual confidence, I recommend you swallow the red pill and go with the second option. Clubbing is not the best time to “blend in”.

Club basics: top

Dress shirt? Polo shirt? Rugby shirt? You have a few options to go with – it’s all up to you.

Let’s take shirts. Because clubs are dark, I would recommend you wear a patterned light colored dress shirt. Something like this is a good starting point:

checked shirt

photo: thisnext.com

But one thing you’ll notice is that this shirt doesn’t stand out too much on it’s own. You need to do a few more things. For instance…

- You could wear a really cook watch (especially if you’re going to wear the sleeves rolled up like that).

- You could go for a canvas belt that repeats the colors on the shirt (white, red and grey). The more of these colors the belt will have, the better. A white canvas belt will match very well with the white buttons on the shirt (Ahhh, you didn’t notice the buttons, did you? Trust me, women will.)

- You could add a pendant as a finishing touch. In the club you should always unbutton 2 buttons from your shirt, to give you a more casual, relaxed look. That’s the perfect opportunity for a pendant to show up at your neck.

Advanced club style tactics: accessorize

Finally, we get to talk about accessories. Clubbing is all about standing out so accessories deserve to be treated in depth. Save the best for last, right?

The kind of accessories you should wear depends on the rest of your outfit.
You can’t wear a leather bracelet with a long-sleeved dress shirt, for instance. It just looks bad.

But the good news is you have a wide variety of accessories to choose from.

Here’s a few of them:

A fedora or a pork pie hat

These two types of hats are perfect for clubbing. I know, I know: you should only wear hats when you’re outside.

Well, clubs are the exception. Guys wearing hats in club always draw women’s attention. In general, hats (or anything else) that is worn by less than 1% of the men will draw a lot of attention.

The other advantage is that hats will make you look taller… a LOT taller. Very useful in a club if you want all eyes on you.

Hats go very well with dress shirts but not so much with t-shirts, polo shirts and rugby shirts.

Bracelets

Leather bracelets are great for a more casual, manly look. I have a brown salsa bracelet that looks amazing, which I wear with a few of my polo shirts.

Don’t wear them with long sleeved shirts, only short sleeved.

brown leather bracelet

Slim ties

I know a lot of clubbers wear ties nowadays but you can still take this to the next level. Go for a patterned or a knitted tie to stand out from the crowd.

I addition, try and match the tie with the rest of your outfit. I know a black tie is easy to match but think colored ties.

Casual rings

While some men are against casual rings, there are just as many who think they’re cool. Think about the rockstar look. Guys who have this avatar are always wearing at least a couple of rings.

Alright. Now you know how to stand out from the club even in the place where it’s the hardest. Not only that but you now have the set of tools necessary to trigger that attraction switch in women (you know, the one that tells them in their head that it’s Love at first sight. :) ).

Casual wear



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  1. Earl
    April 11th, 2011 at 17:36 | #1

    Loving this article and the site. Keep it up! :D

  2. April 12th, 2011 at 10:14 | #2

    Thanks Earl,
    I hope you’re also applying what you read :)

  3. Todar
    September 2nd, 2011 at 09:32 | #3

    I love the fact that you are so frank about why both women and men go to the clubs!! your distinction between the type of clubbers and their dress sense is totally spot on.

    two corrections though, the GQ pic, the first guy is actually wearing cream suade brogues with the blue chinos and a checked shirt, the second guy (which also happens to be my favourite as well) is actually wearing a navy blue tie with greean and deep red blocked stripes.

    great article non the less can’t wait to read the next one!!!

  4. September 2nd, 2011 at 09:48 | #4

    Hi Todar,

    Thanks for pointing those out – the pic was so small I didn’t see the shoes very well.

  5. John
    October 14th, 2011 at 08:13 | #5

    Just found your blog and I’m really loving the advice. Keep it up!

  6. neville ellis
    November 18th, 2011 at 17:03 | #6

    I notice that you said that the socks must match your pants but women are still checking if your socks matches your shoes.

  7. Mike Pots
    July 29th, 2012 at 05:24 | #7

    Hi,
    I really like the article.. could you please provide some links to places where I can shop online for this stuff? I’m really fashion dumb and do not know where to start.

    - Mike

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